Christmas Is Not Your Birthday - Chapter 5 - "By A Different Road"

I woke this morning to stories of shoppers angered and disappointed because the two major package carriers did not deliver their ordered gifts on time. I found it disheartening to think that many people are blaming shippers, weather and deliverers for their "giftless" holiday. I talked to someone who has worked in the retail industry for years and he said that people always came in to shop on Christmas Eve and complained that there was no selection.

This is exactly the problem that we have been addressing the last six weeks. The world has seen the Christmas holiday become one, big shopping extravaganza - a Santa-fest - instead of focusing on the reason for the season.

In this last chapter, Mike Slaughter wants to us consider taking the lessons we have learned this Advent season and applying them to the rest of the year. He likens our journeys to the one of the Magi. They came to visit the baby Jesus by the way of the world, consulting with King Herod in order to find the infant King. But after their encounter with Jesus and his family, they went home by a different road. They were warned that returning the same way they came would endanger the holy family - and themselves.

The gospel is filled with stories that tell us the same about our own lives. Faith in Jesus Christ is not just about accepting the saving grace of Jesus. It's about accepting that Jesus calls us to live in a way that is different than before... different than the world. Think about the parable of the man with two sons - one left, but ending up returning to the love of his father - the other son stayed home, but continued to seethe in resentment of his brother's and father's actions. Which one had truly accepted the love with God gives and demands of us? And which one are you?

 One of the first ways that we can live differently than the world is to remember (or discover) that the 12 days of Christmas START on December 25th, instead of ending there. Consider celebrating these 12 days all the gifts that Christmas brings to our lives. If you want a bigger challenge, give thanks for special things each day. One on December 25th, two on December 26th, three on December 27th (you see the pattern), culminating on January 6th with a remembering of the visit of the Magi to the stable scene. The wise men in our nativity set will not make it to the manger scene until then, and we will keep the nativity up long after the rest of the decorations have been put away.

One Christmas Eve night, our pastor asked us to consider living Christmas all year by leaving an ornament or decoration out for the whole year, to let this be a constant reminder of how important Jesus' coming is every day of our lives. We have not decided yet what that decoration will be, but are considering that this will be a wonderful way to remember Christmas throughout the year, and to live as if it makes a different in the way we live.

I wish to you a joyous Christmastide and thank you for joining in this advent journey. May the blessings and peace of God be yours always. And may you be a living representation of that peace in the world.

Merry Christmas!

Deb

Here's what others are talking about this Advent and Christmas:
(It's never too early to be thinking about next year!)

Cow or Cash?
http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2013/december-web-only/should-i-give-cow-or-cash-for-christmas.html?paging=off

Upside-down Christmas Tree
http://jonathanmerritt.religionnews.com/2013/12/10/nyt-bestseller-ann-voskamp-hung-christmas-tree-upside/

Our War on Christmas
http://sojo.net/blogs/2013/12/23/our-war-christmas

Christmas Is Not Your Birthday - Chapter 4 - "Jesus' Wish List"

Do you have an Amazon wish list? I do... Actually, I have four wish lists there. It's the place where I hold on to things I'd like to have in the future... books, kitchen appliances, books, clothing accessories, books... you get the idea. Every now and then I go out and update it - sometimes I've checked a book out of the library, or I've decided I'd rather have something else more. In my advancing years, I think it's also a little piece of my memory... if you haven't yet, you'll ask yourself the question, "What was that thing I was looking at the other day?" More than likely, I've saved it to my Amazon wish list or to Pinterest, but that's a whole other topic.

Jesus has a wish list, too. But the gifts he wants can't be found on Amazon or Pinterest or any other website. Jesus' list is all about what we do with what we've got. There are many places that Jesus taught this lesson - the feeding of the 5000, turning the water into wine, the telling of the story of the sheep and goats. Again and again, the disciples didn't get it, so it's understandable that we often don't get it either. Jesus' main message revolved around a simple synopsis of the Ten Commandments - love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength - and love your neighbor as yourself. That's all. Simple, and oh, so hard to do, each and every day.

We want to make it more complicated than that, but Jesus' teachings emphasized over and over this message: we serve God when we serve others. Whatever we have - our gifts, our talents, our resources - God wants us to use them to help those who are in need in his name. It's easy to think, "Someone else will do that." But it's not our job to expect that from others. It's our job to focus on that easy, hard commandment for ourselves.

We have very good excuses for not giving when we can. We get drawn into our own drama. We imagine the worst for our own futures and squirrel away more than we need. One of my favorite quotes from the book is this one:

"But...but...but..." It is time to commit to losing our big buts. After all, Jesus doesn't save us to get us into heaven, but to get heaven into us. Jesus saves us for the purpose of channeling the resources of heaven onto earth. Jesus needs the five loaves and two fish that you have in your hand, not matter how futile your financial situation may seem (page 59).

And this one:

God releases the resources of heaven through obedient people. You are created to be the channel through which God's blessings flow to meet the needs of God's children. But Jesus needs what you are holding in your hand! (page 61)

This fall, my little friend has been learning to walk. At first, she pulled up on furniture, then she walked around the edge of the couch and coffee table. But eventually she wanted to venture into the middle of the room - she wanted to be where the action was. And she held on to my fingers very tightly to keep from falling down. And it didn't take long for her to realize the freedom that came with venturing out into the world unimpeded. Now we have to run to keep up with her. She is all about making the most of all the time she got in her waking hours. There are places to go and people to see.

Many of us, at one time or another, are still walking around the furniture. We're afraid to go out into the world where there is some much to see and do. What are the "big buts" that keep us from living outside our comfort zones? What excuses do we need to overcome in order to serve God and others with the gifts we have?

Sometimes it takes a group effort. In our Wednesday bible study, we took on a service project to help a young couple by contributing to a date night basket for the nights when they could not leave the hospital while the husband is undergoing chemotherapy. It was the idea of one person who knew of a need and shared it with our group. Withing a few weeks, we were able to help put together something very special. It wasn't a big sacrifice for any one person, but it was a huge blessing to the family in need.

Another group decided to have a small baby shower for Jesus. They collected diapers and wipes, warm sleepers, onesies and socks so that the youngest members of our community could stay dry and warm this winter. We often forget that it's the smallest gifts that can make the biggest impression.

I saw this graphic the other day, and thought that it suited the spirit of this lesson very well. It's easy to keep gathering "stuff," thinking it will give us satisfaction. But real contentment comes from understanding something very different - may be we find gratitude in our hearts so that we can live in joy, simplicity and generosity, each and every day.

Peace, Deb

 Here's what others are talking about this Advent:

The Shadows of Advent: navigating the holidays through loss
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tara-woodardlehman/the-shadows-of-advent_b_4374498.html?utm_hp_ref=tw

Christmas Flash Mob Video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gIoSga7tZPg

Christmas Is Not Your Birthday - Chapter 3 - "Scandalous Love"

How many times have you ever heard someone preach on a passage from the prophecy of Hosea? Not often, I expect, because in any translation words like "prostitute" and "whore" seem to make people squirm in their seats too much to even begin to hear what the prophet is trying to say. I expect that the four or five times that reading from this Old Testament book rotate into place, there are more attractive readings from the New Testament which tend to make the cut instead.

It's a very scandalous story, and Hosea's message is hard on many levels. First of all, God directs Hosea to marry and make a family with a person who cannot be trusted. It is our natural inclination to think that God will protect us from the difficulties of life. But this story shows us that sometimes God sends us into the fire, able to make it though only by trusting that in the melee we will not be alone.  Second, when we relate the characters in the story to our own lives, we realize that Jesus is the faithful husband and we are the unfaithful, unloving wife.

That is not what we want to see when we look in the mirror.  We want to see the good in ourselves.  We want to think of ourselves as faithful.  We want to be the hero. But that's just not the way things are. The remarkable part of the Hosea story is that God is honest about the struggles, and yet always receives the wandering souls back into the fold. Again and again, Hosea represents the relentless pursuing love of God. God loves us when we are unworthy - when we turn back to greed, materialism and self-indulgence. We think that "stuff" will make our lives better. Even when we give, we want to impress God with our generosity.

But all God wants from us is love. God wants us to respond to his offer of scandalous love with some of our own, demonstrated by how we treat those in need. God wants us to be aware of the needs of the people around us, and the needs of people who live far away. And God wants us to care about those things and find a way to help, in whatever way we can.

This will require several things from us.  First - to accept the passionate and unconditional love that God has for you. Sometimes we are so hard on ourselves or others that it's hard to believe that God doesn't care about that stuff in the same way we do. I remember vividly the moment when I realized that I was going to have to take a new path.  At 26, I was doing great, but the world's standards, but I was not joyful... I wasn't even happy. And this little voice kept saying "seminary, seminary". I tried to ignore it... I even tried to run away. I was offered a position as a blood bank supervisor at a hospital in Florida, which I accepted. Then I cried for three days. And a wise friend intervened, asking the most important question: "What if this isn't what God is calling you to do?"

That question changed my life. And sent me on a totally different path - the first of many different paths. And in this new life, I began to understand how scandalous this love of God really is. And I am where I am in my life because I pushed aside the fear of the unknown and trusted that God would be with me, no matter what. I have certainly not "arrived", but I continue to get glimpses of the world that God envisions for me and you. And as I continue to push away the expectations of those around me, and listen to the call of God, amazing things - some big, some small - continue to unfold around me, and I am blessed to be a part of this miracle of scandalous love.

Hosea's story - and God's story - are ones centered on the practice of forgiveness. Maybe the first step of living out our call to scandalous love is to ask for and receive the forgiveness that God models for us.  With that step, our hearts will be freed of the hurts and burdens that divert us from God's path, and allows us to pour out the love he created us for. That's what Christmas is all about... that is the incarnation of Scandalous Love.

So ask yourselves these questions: What does it mean to love others "scandalously"? How is that different from the safe, cautious way we often show the love of Christ in the world?  And what does that look like in our lives? Where is God calling you to show scandalous love this Christmas? And what needs to change in you for that to happen?

Jesus came as a tiny baby in scandalous circumstances to redeem and restore broken places and broken hearts. That is the love we celebrate at Christmas, and it is that kind of love we are called to show in return (pp. 53-54).

Peace, Deb

Here's what others are talking about this Advent:

11 Ways to Be the Christ in Christmas
http://fatpastor.me/2013/11/15/11-ways-to-bechristinchristmas/

God, Santa & Gifts: talking to your preschoolers
http://sojo.net/blogs/2013/12/09/god-santa-gifts-and-story-preschoolers

And here's a helpful tool to help greet people during the holidays...

Christmas Is Not Your Birthday - Chapter 2 - "Give up on Perfect"

Listen to your favorite religious Christmas carols and it's easy to get the idea that Mary's birth experience was "easy - peasy" - a perfect birth plan in every way. Carols like "Away in a Manger" and "Silent Night" lure us into believing that Mary and Joseph escaped the normal human emotions and messiness that surround adding a new baby to the family. Somehow we have been lured into thinking that a smelly, chaotic barn would not be fitting for the birth of our Lord and Savior. But undoubtedly, that's exactly the environment into which Jesus entered life.

Survey 100 parents, and 100 percent will tell you that the whole process of expecting, delivering, and taking a new baby home is surrounded by 25 different levels of fear. Even if the labor and delivery come off without a hitch, many a new parent has said, "I can't believe they're just going to let me walk out of here with this baby without a certificate or diploma of some kind to prove we know what we're doing." We have so much more knowledge about pregnancy and childbirth today. Imagine Mary's fear and anxiety upon learning that she was pregnant with no husband - and oh, buy the way - with the Savior of the world! Knowing from the beginning that she would give birth in a stable might have pushed her over the edge. It is with good reason that the angel's first words to Mary were, "Fear not!"

Think about the stigma attached to such an event for Mary - young and unmarried and to her cousin, Elizabeth, who was expecting in her advancing years.  We don't know of Elizabeth's response, but her husband Zachariah laughed when the angel told him of his son's impending birth, and for that he was stuck mute for the remainder of his wife's pregnancy. What a gift that these two women had each other in the midst of confusing days! We don't know what their relationship was like after that time, but I like to imagine that they spent many visits marveling at how God had used each of them to teach the world something important about who God is and what God can do.

In it's most simple terms, it seems like following Jesus would make us immune to trouble, as if his power and Spirit should protect us from the unexpected bumps, bruises and tragedies of life. Indeed, through Jesus we gain eternal life, but that is no promise that life will be perfect here on earth. In fact, sometimes the opposite seems true. Sometimes our faith choices open us up to criticism and other messy behaviors from others.  Sometimes we feel abandoned by the world around us. But God never abandons us... not ever.

God is with us in the middle of our joys AND our sorrows.  God comes when we are doing everything right, some things wrong, and even when we are doing nothing at all.  Like Mary, we are highly favored, although at times it's hard to see that, especially when we or those we love are in pain. Or when we have made all the right choices, and it still doesn't come out in a way that seems good or fair or the way that we think God wants life to be for us.

I bet Mary felt the same way some days. Exiled into Egypt - that wasn't a part of the plan. Jesus becoming an itinerant prophet increasingly at odds with the religious leaders - not a part of the plan, either. Arrested, taken to trial, and executed... definitely not in the list of hopes and dreams. But God was always there.  And just before his death, Jesus promised something more - an Advocate, the Holy Spirit - who would always be with us. And that same spirit gives us comfort and hope and courage and power to face what lies ahead, confirming what we know in our heads and our hearts about who Jesus is and what role he plays in our lives (read John 14 &15).

One of my friends confessed this week that she has been so intent on making sure she's ready for Christmas, that she almost forgot to prepare for Thanksgiving.  Our vision and striving for the perfect Christmas can indeed get in the way of experiencing any joy at all as we celebrate in the days before and after Christmas Day.  So ask yourself these questions: What imperfect circumstances will you face this year that will challenge your ability to celebrate Christmas fully? And how can you put those challenges into perspective so that the holiday is not ruined by all of the unexpected challenges that are bound to arise?

Mary is such a great role model for us... not that we should see her as perfect and never having a moment of doubt. But if we read Mary's response to the angel in the gospel of Luke, we can see the variety of emotions that she experiences, and that in the end, she makes a conscious choice to trust God. Can we do the same? Will we learn from Mary's faithful response and welcome God into the messiness of our Christmas preparations and celebrations?

Three years ago this Christmas, my husband and I took the train from the Northeast US to Michigan, which means we actually took the train to Toledo, Ohio and took a bus to Detroit.  We arrived early in the morning and began preparing for a joyous holiday celebration. We did not expect that my mother-in-law would become sick on the day of arrival, or that she would spend the next ten days in the hospital with complications from chemotherapy. The Christmas Eve we planned, including church and a family drop-in, were altered.  In the end, everyone in the family went to church, and I stayed with her in the hospital to have our own Christmas Eve liturgy.

I read to her "The Best Christmas Pageant Ever," a children's story by Barbara Robinson. In it we met the six Herdman children, who become the most unlikely children ever to play the starring roles in the nativity story.  It's funny and sweet and sad, all at the same time.  And while it was not the traditional lessons and carols, it still felt like church to us. That Christmas season was hard, but God walked through those days with us, along side as she went home, then back to the hospital, and as we finally welcomed our new hospice friends to enter the journey with us.

Life is filled with unexpected twists and turns.  We plan - God says, "Let's go this way instead." Have you ever felt like life smacked you down even through you were trying to do everything right? What got you through that time?  Was it friends - family -  strangers who helped you keep the faith? Have you ever been the one to help someone else through a difficult part of their journey? What emotions did you come away with as you thought back on your experience?

How DO we celebrate Jesus in the midst of our struggles?  Can God use our struggles to help others?  And what are the promises that God has made which help us to stay the course and remain devoted followers of Jesus Christ?

Maybe if we think outside our own box we can get a better sense of where God is at work in our world. Reaching out from our own pain, past and present, can narrow the distance between us and others who are in need of the message of Christmas. Reaching out reminds of us of the life Jesus asked us to lead: "Love the Lord with all your heart, soul, mind and strength, and love your neighbor as yourself" (Mark 12:30, Luke 10:27).  In that we can find the kind of perfect that God is asking of us.

Peace, Deb

Reflections on the reading and questions in Christmas is Not Your Birthday by Mike Slaughter, pages 19-37.

Copyright 2013 - please link back to this document when sharing.

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Wondering how others are traveling on this Advent journey?  Check out these sites:

A Holy Experience - Ann Voskamp, author of One Thousand Gifts
http://www.aholyexperience.com/2013/11/simplified-sane-sacred-christmas/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+HolyExperience+%28Holy+Experience%29
Rethink Church - Ways to Change Your World
http://rethinkchurch.org/discover
Experiencing Advent Deeply for Busy People
http://onlineministries.creighton.edu/CollaborativeMinistry/Advent/deep-tho-busy.html

Christmas is Not Your Birthday - Chapter 1 - "Expect a Miracle"

Christmas is my mother's birthday. And for as long as I can remember, my dad wanted to make sure that we didn't merge the two celebrations into one. So he made sure we bought birthday cards, separate gifts, and wrapped them in birthday paper. We would have a birthday cake and go out for a birthday meal. Often, that was at the Waffle House, the only restaurant that was open 365 days a year in our neighborhood. Maybe that's why it's one of my favorite dining stops when I go back East... it makes me feel like I'm gathering with my family all over again to celebrate my mother's special day.

It's seems really easy for Christmas celebrations to look like one big "I love me" party. When the gifts become the focus, then it's a clue that the train has gone off the rails. I remember my oldest niece's second Christmas. She was about 16 months old and enjoyed the lights and tinsel and wrapped packages. When Christmas morning came and we started opening gifts, she tore into each box with great abandon. Paper and ribbons flew all over the place. And in the end, she spent the day walking around with a holiday gift bag on her arm, as if it was her own special purse. So much for all the stuff... she was really just happy with the wrappings.

In our first chapter, Mike talks about how Jesus came as the prophets foretold, but even so he didn't not meet the expectations of the people in first century Palestine. His birth, his life, his ministry, even his death... all of that was in stark contrast to the way that people believed it would all unfold. That is a apt description of what Christmas has become today - almost the opposite of what it was intended to be - a celebration of our Savior's birth. Instead, we get caught up in the things that make us feel good in the short term, but always increase our stress in the end.

Think about your picture of God. Do you think this picture affects the way you live out your faith? Think about Jesus. I don't know about you, but I love the Jesus who conquered death, but the Jesus who lived in poverty and hung out with the outcasts, him I have a hard time relating to most days.

Christmas is about Jesus' birth - and with the celebration we are quick to give thanks for his saving grace. But the Jesus of the cradle doesn't challenge the way we live. We forget that the comfort of the cradle gave way to the desperation of the cross. Jesus was not only born to give us eternal life, but also as an example of how to live sacrificially. And that is a hard road to travel. (page 12)

What is the most challenging aspect of seeing yourself as God's miracle - God's miracle-worker? What would it take for you to be more prepared to see God use you for miraculous purposes in the world? And how would that change the way your celebrate Christmas this year?

We tend to think of miracles as something that happens to other people... or that happen with God's touch and will alone. But miracles happen everyday because people like you and me dream dreams and have visions of things that we could help make better. Every mission project I have ever participated in was the dream of somebody. These dreams seemed unattainable, or unmanageable, or just downright crazy. And yet, because someone had a dream, and others believed in it and were willing to pursue it, miraculous things have happened.

I wonder what ideas you might have that could be seeds for a mission miracle? And who can help you make it happen? In the next week, pray about and the write down 1-3 ideas or thoughts that you feel might be God-initiated dreams for you to pursue in helping change this world for God's Kingdom. Nothing is too crazy. No dream is too big. As a disciple of Jesus Christ, your are a miracle worker. Are you ready for God to birth a miracle through you?

These are not rhetorical questions, so think about the reading and your impressions of it. You can answer one of the questions above, or something else in response. Let this be a safe place to process a difficult change in understanding and behavior. These concepts are not easy and fly in the face of the way most of the people around us are preparing for the season. But do not be afraid. You are not alone. From Alaska to Washington State to New Jersey to Florida and Spain (and other places in between), for the next five weeks we are a community. Welcome to the journey!

Peace, Deb

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Wondering how others are taking this journey? Check out these sites.

The Christmas Conundrum

http://jenhatmaker.com/blog/2011/11/29/the-christmas-conundrum#.UoAP6cADflz.facebook

11 Ways to be the Christ in Christmas

http://fatpastor.me/2013/11/15/11-ways-to-bechristinchristmas/

Advent Conspiracy

http://www.adventconspiracy.org/

Christmas is Not Your Birthday - Let's get to know each other.

I decided that if we're really going to be a group, then it would be fun to know a little bit about each other. I have the benefit of knowing the three people who have posted that they are joining the class.  But then I realized that you all don't know each other, or at least I don't think you do.

Here's a little about me: Air Force wife for almost 19 years, live at Fairchild AFB, WA since 2012, (11th move), United Methodist minister, I don't work outside the home, except for the 7 volunteer jobs that I am currently filling.
Love teaching and water aerobics and baking pies.

How about you - What's your story?  Come on, introduce yourselves.

Feel free to post in the comment section.

PS - here's some questions to think about as we prepare to read Chapter 1.

1. Think about your family’s Christmas traditions as you grew up. What were the most unique traditions you practiced? How many of them focused on your own comfort and pleasure, and which were sacrificial in nature?

2. Think of one of the best Christmas gifts you've ever given to someone. What made it the best, and how long do you think they appreciated it?

3. Name some ways you think Christmas has been hijacked. How have you allowed Christmas to become more about you and/or consumerism than about Jesus?

4. Do you typically use cash only for Christmas, or do you go into at least a little debt? How can you make this year a cash-only Christmas?

5. What are some things you currently enjoy or love about the holiday season? What don’t you like? Is there a common theme between what you like and don’t like?

6. What new tradition(s) can you plan that would focus more on Jesus’ presence than presents?

Questions taken from Living and Giving Like Jesus from Ginghamsburg Church, Tipp City, OH, www.ginghamsburg.org

Christmas is Not Your Birthday - Introduction

I don't know about you, but I spend most of November in a constant state of contradiction. I know that the season of Christmas begins on December 25th, but the world around me has been hanging decorations and playing carols since before Halloween. And I love Christmas and all the trimmings - sounds, sights, foods, decorations - so why not get a big bang for my buck?

My holiday weaknesses are seasonal t-shirts and sweaters, holiday M&M's, cute decorations, and seasonal cooking supplies, like candied fruit and anything with peppermint. Yes, I realize these don't have anything to do with Jesus and his birth, but somehow, they make me happy, and for a minute, I am fooled into believing that's all that really matters.

It's easy to get carried away by the way that the world around celebrates the holidays. We spend too much, we eat too much, we expect too much, and in one way or another, we are disappointed. What would it be like to celebrate a different kind of Christmas... one where we reconnected with the reason for the season, and in the process, made life better for others as well as ourselves?

For the next six weeks we will be be reading "Christmas is Not Your Birthday" by Mike Slaughter. Our reading and discussion is designed to bring us back to center - to look at the person whose life we celebrate, and how he is calling us to live in the light of his life and ministry.

Yes, I know we are starting before Advent, and yes, I think it's a good idea. I don't know about your December, but mine is pretty crazy. It's my hope that this time of preparation can help all of us gain some perspective before we are swept away in a whirlwind of holiday activities.

If you're coming along on the journey, the book is available at Cokesbury.com and Amazon.com, and may be available in your local bookstore. It's also available on Kindle, so get a copy and read along. And feel free to post a comment on the reading or questions.  We'll be reading chapter 1 this week - "You Are a Miracle Worker".

My class here at Fairchild AFB meets on Wednesday afternoons, so I'll make every effort to post within 24 hours to share some of our insights and questions, along with my takeaway from the reading.

Come along - it will be a good journey.

Peace, Deb