Listen to your favorite religious Christmas carols and it's easy to get the idea that Mary's birth experience was "easy - peasy" - a perfect birth plan in every way. Carols like "Away in a Manger" and "Silent Night" lure us into believing that Mary and Joseph escaped the normal human emotions and messiness that surround adding a new baby to the family. Somehow we have been lured into thinking that a smelly, chaotic barn would not be fitting for the birth of our Lord and Savior. But undoubtedly, that's exactly the environment into which Jesus entered life.Survey 100 parents, and 100 percent will tell you that the whole process of expecting, delivering, and taking a new baby home is surrounded by 25 different levels of fear. Even if the labor and delivery come off without a hitch, many a new parent has said, "I can't believe they're just going to let me walk out of here with this baby without a certificate or diploma of some kind to prove we know what we're doing." We have so much more knowledge about pregnancy and childbirth today. Imagine Mary's fear and anxiety upon learning that she was pregnant with no husband - and oh, buy the way - with the Savior of the world! Knowing from the beginning that she would give birth in a stable might have pushed her over the edge. It is with good reason that the angel's first words to Mary were, "Fear not!"
Think about the stigma attached to such an event for Mary - young and unmarried and to her cousin, Elizabeth, who was expecting in her advancing years. We don't know of Elizabeth's response, but her husband Zachariah laughed when the angel told him of his son's impending birth, and for that he was stuck mute for the remainder of his wife's pregnancy. What a gift that these two women had each other in the midst of confusing days! We don't know what their relationship was like after that time, but I like to imagine that they spent many visits marveling at how God had used each of them to teach the world something important about who God is and what God can do.
In it's most simple terms, it seems like following Jesus would make us immune to trouble, as if his power and Spirit should protect us from the unexpected bumps, bruises and tragedies of life. Indeed, through Jesus we gain eternal life, but that is no promise that life will be perfect here on earth. In fact, sometimes the opposite seems true. Sometimes our faith choices open us up to criticism and other messy behaviors from others. Sometimes we feel abandoned by the world around us. But God never abandons us... not ever.
God is with us in the middle of our joys AND our sorrows. God comes when we are doing everything right, some things wrong, and even when we are doing nothing at all. Like Mary, we are highly favored, although at times it's hard to see that, especially when we or those we love are in pain. Or when we have made all the right choices, and it still doesn't come out in a way that seems good or fair or the way that we think God wants life to be for us.
I bet Mary felt the same way some days. Exiled into Egypt - that wasn't a part of the plan. Jesus becoming an itinerant prophet increasingly at odds with the religious leaders - not a part of the plan, either. Arrested, taken to trial, and executed... definitely not in the list of hopes and dreams. But God was always there. And just before his death, Jesus promised something more - an Advocate, the Holy Spirit - who would always be with us. And that same spirit gives us comfort and hope and courage and power to face what lies ahead, confirming what we know in our heads and our hearts about who Jesus is and what role he plays in our lives (read John 14 &15).
One of my friends confessed this week that she has been so intent on making sure she's ready for Christmas, that she almost forgot to prepare for Thanksgiving. Our vision and striving for the perfect Christmas can indeed get in the way of experiencing any joy at all as we celebrate in the days before and after Christmas Day. So ask yourself these questions: What imperfect circumstances will you face this year that will challenge your ability to celebrate Christmas fully? And how can you put those challenges into perspective so that the holiday is not ruined by all of the unexpected challenges that are bound to arise?
Three years ago this Christmas, my husband and I took the train from the Northeast US to Michigan, which means we actually took the train to Toledo, Ohio and took a bus to Detroit. We arrived early in the morning and began preparing for a joyous holiday celebration. We did not expect that my mother-in-law would become sick on the day of arrival, or that she would spend the next ten days in the hospital with complications from chemotherapy. The Christmas Eve we planned, including church and a family drop-in, were altered. In the end, everyone in the family went to church, and I stayed with her in the hospital to have our own Christmas Eve liturgy.
I read to her "The Best Christmas Pageant Ever," a children's story by Barbara Robinson. In it we met the six Herdman children, who become the most unlikely children ever to play the starring roles in the nativity story. It's funny and sweet and sad, all at the same time. And while it was not the traditional lessons and carols, it still felt like church to us. That Christmas season was hard, but God walked through those days with us, along side as she went home, then back to the hospital, and as we finally welcomed our new hospice friends to enter the journey with us.
Life is filled with unexpected twists and turns. We plan - God says, "Let's go this way instead." Have you ever felt like life smacked you down even through you were trying to do everything right? What got you through that time? Was it friends - family - strangers who helped you keep the faith? Have you ever been the one to help someone else through a difficult part of their journey? What emotions did you come away with as you thought back on your experience?
How DO we celebrate Jesus in the midst of our struggles? Can God use our struggles to help others? And what are the promises that God has made which help us to stay the course and remain devoted followers of Jesus Christ?
Maybe if we think outside our own box we can get a better sense of where God is at work in our world. Reaching out from our own pain, past and present, can narrow the distance between us and others who are in need of the message of Christmas. Reaching out reminds of us of the life Jesus asked us to lead: "Love the Lord with all your heart, soul, mind and strength, and love your neighbor as yourself" (Mark 12:30, Luke 10:27). In that we can find the kind of perfect that God is asking of us.
Peace, Deb
Reflections on the reading and questions in Christmas is Not Your Birthday by Mike Slaughter, pages 19-37.
Copyright 2013 - please link back to this document when sharing.
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Wondering how others are traveling on this Advent journey? Check out these sites:
http://www.aholyexperience.com/2013/11/simplified-sane-sacred-christmas/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+HolyExperience+%28Holy+Experience%29
Rethink Church - Ways to Change Your World
http://rethinkchurch.org/discover
Experiencing Advent Deeply for Busy People
http://onlineministries.creighton.edu/CollaborativeMinistry/Advent/deep-tho-busy.html
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