A Sin by Any Other Name by Robert W Lee

Rev Rob Lee  - an unlikely prophet in fast-changing times. When I see him on TV or read his words, whether in the Washington Post or on his Twitter feed, I am blown away with the wisdom that comes from this unassuming, young pastor.

His Book, A Sin By Any Other Name, is a deeply personal memoir of how being a descendant of Confederate General Robert E Lee has shaped his life, personally and professionally. I won't recap the book here because I want you to read it for yourself, but I did think I would share four lessons that I learned from reading the background on Rob's story, and a retelling of a remarkable year in the life of faithful young Christian leader.

Rob Lee spoke out against the pandemic of racism, confronting his personal story, and sharing a year of his journey. Here are some of the lessons I take away as I go on to read more about racism in our lives, our communities and in the church.

1. CONFESSION: Rob weaves in his own history as "one of those Lees" into this story. And his telling of the story made me realize that we often must work through our own confessions because we can begin to hear the difficult truths laid before us. I have several books by black authors on my reading list, but picking up this book first and seeing so much of my own journey in it, took me a long way toward getting my head on straight. Seeing Rob tell his story made me confront my story. And there were places in it where I took the easier path, where I played it safe. And in another kind of post I may talk about some of those revelations. But what I realized from this particular story is that first you have to took a wrong path... and then you have to name that... and then figure out how to not take the same bad choices again.

2. CHRISTIAN CONVERSATION: Rob's encounter with his own misunderstood past came through his relationship with his confirmation mentor, a black woman who thought enough of herself and him to not call a sin a sin. And his confession to her was simple: I thought about how you challenged me to think about life differently, and here's how I did that. I hope for each of us that we can have those kinds of friends and mentors in our lives... that we will cultivate friendships with the people who will tell us the truth and still love us, rather than just the people who we want to tell us what we want to here. Confession is the first step down a renewed life journey.

3. DE-MYTHOLOGIZING THE FABLE OF THE GOOD SLAVEHOLDER: It doesn't take up much of the book, but Rob tells a story of going to Arlington House as an adult and watching the park ranger have a pointed conversation with a woman who was intent on extolling the virtues of the kindly slaveholder, Robert E Lee. Whatever her example of how REL might have treated his slaves kindly, or done a lot of good for the community, or worked for the benefit of the Southern economy, the park ranger's response was, "but those people were still slaves." This reminded me of all the times I have wanted to excuse the bad behavior of others or myself with the reassuring phrase, "But he's a good person at heart." I may have done some good things in my life, but that doesn't erase the harm I have done, intentionally or passively. Good people do bad things. Being honest about them is imperative, and the first step to working to not making the same mistakes again.

4. THE GIFT OF PEOPLE WHO WILL TELL YOU THE TRUTH: I originally called this one the gift of finding the right spouse, but I realized that was some kind of -ist for which I do not have a name... let's just say that these truth tellers don't have to be related to you in any way. Rob describes his wife as the one who helped him check his brain and heart to make sure that were on the right track. And she gave him courage to go hard places and say hard things. When he was asked to speak at the VMA's (his first big moment), his first thought was to turn the offer down, but his wife said, "No, we're going." And when he wondered if he needed to buy a new shirt and tie, she said, "You're wearing your clergy collar, but I need a new dress." It made me really thankful for all the ways that my spouse has supported me, and all the times he was willing to be my biggest advocate, even if that wasn't what the situation called for at the time... I've had to talk him off the ledge a couple of times, but I've always been grateful that he's in my court and also willing to say when he thinks I need to reign it in.

I think this is what a good book does... it connects with your own story and helps make it bigger, to celebrate the places where you got it right, and see how you can do it better next time. I am so thankful for this book. It is especially prophetic at this time in our lives. I am amazed by the gifts this talented pastor and preacher has to share... and realize that he is not the age I was when I decided to go to seminary... mind officially blown.

If you want to follow him on Twitter (Rev. Rob Lee), his handle is @roblee4.

Peace, Deb